Suedenim’s Blog 1
I don’t “do” new year’s resolutions, but at the start of 2017 my three goals were to control alcohol consumption, lose two stone, and get fitter. I was drinking a bottle of white wine 12-13% every night at home. I didn't go out because I wouldn't drink and drive, and so going out was wasting drinking time. I tried to have a night off, but by 6 in the evening, I’d be driving to the local supermarket to buy a bottle. As soon as I’d made the decision to do that, my mood lifted and all was well with the world again 😊
Mid 2017 I approached S2S (Substance to Solution) a free government funded drug and alcohol help centre. I had to be alcohol-free for three days at least before I was prescribed Acamprosate (Campral), which seems arse about face to me, but I managed it over several weeks of cutting down gradually. I knew I could succeed with that crutch to help me!
I felt very out of place at the meetings to begin with and said very little. I was a 66-year-old woman, reasonably well groomed and dressed, who spoke fairly well. The other group members were pretty much unkempt, clearly suffering withdrawal symptoms of the drug/alcohol of their choice, and some were there only because a court order said they had to be. I debated whether to continue, but I did because I wanted to stop drinking, and after a few meetings I knew I was no different from them. I was humbled by this realisation, and knew I would learn a lot from other members. I opened up and joined in at the second meeting and it went well from then on.
Three or four months later, I had gone through the sequence of meetings twice, and was encouraged to stop attending those meetings and go instead to the open drop-in meetings. I’m not very good in larger groups of people I don’t know, so I discharged myself. I was off the acamprosate and I hadn’t had a drink for several months. How cool was that? would be fine! Thanks for all your help – ta raa!
Life moved on and one Saturday later in the year at a girly lunch, I thought, “Why not, just one!” I enjoyed it and I was fine! A month later, another girly lunch and I thought, “Well I had that one before and it didn't start me off again, so I’ll just do that again today. Maybe I’ll have two!” And then, “Well, I may as well buy a bottle now and have a week end treat and then stop again. Hmm a bottle for Saturday night and a bottle for Sunday?” Yeah well. Then there was Christmas!
That slippery slope is VERY slippery. I was drinking again!